Re-starting the journey

I’m back! It’s been a very long time since I posted and so much has changed.

3 years ago I started this blog fearing that I wasn’t going to get to be a mama because my periods seemed to be disappearing. I knew how much I wanted a child and so I decided to go the Single Mum By Choice route. I then found out I have a defective uterus and didn’t go ahead with those plans. I tried to accept that I would probably never have kids.

As 2018 draws close to the end, I am in totally new circumstances “life-wise”. I left the UK for Spain (no kids, no ties – right?), and I ended up meeting someone who has made be hopeful that all I had given up on could be possible. The long and short of it is that me and my partner (I’ll think of a nickname for him later) have decided that, even though it might be a long and somewhat difficult journey, we are going to try and become parents.

So.. I’m still a wannabe mama and as of last month we officially start trying to conceive (TTC). So this blog is being re-kindled and, while it will still be a TTC blog, it’s not going to be a SMBC blog anymore.

Let’s see where this journey takes me now!!

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1 door closes… how many others should I leave open?

After some soul searching following last week’s bad news I’ve decided I’m not going to try to get pregnant. It’s with a heavy heart that I have taken the decision that I don’t think I can put myself into the position where I could knowingly face the disappointment of constant failures of IUI cycles, the anxiety of a very high risk pregnancy, or the trauma of losses  (esp if these were “late”).

These things could happen to anyone (and I know they have happened for many of you in this group), but I feel like it’s one thing having to cope with an unexpected tragedy and another to deliberately put yourself into that situation. Psychologically I don’t think I’d cope well.
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Possibly changing clinic

I really like the atmosphere at the private Harley Street clinic (a.k.a “The Baby Making Place” or TBMP) I’ve been to so far however, it’s pricey and it’s not really conveniently located from my office. Since I’m going for stimulated cycles I’m going to need monitoring via ultrasound scans and inevitably some of these will fall on work days. Because of this I think it is more practical to chose a clinic that’s nearer to work.

There’s a big NHS hospital very close to my office (which also happens to be the hospital where I was born!!) and they have an Assisted Conception Unit (ACU). Their prices are lower than TBMP – on the procedural side it’s not a massive difference per treatment, but after a few cycles the significance of that “small” amount increases dramatically.
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I’m back! (Happy New Year) and choosing a donor part 1

First of all let me wish all my readers a happy. healthy, and prosperous 2016! This is going to be a big year for me and I’m so excited (and a little bit scared!)

Anyhoo – I’ve taken quite a long break from the blog over the pre-Christmas, Christmas and New Year period. I went on my much anticipated trip to México and Florida and it was AWESOME 🙂 This was (hopefully) my “last hurrah” as a childless person so I made the most of the sun, clubs and tequila in Playa del Carmen and Canún. wp-1452244501027.jpg
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Smiley face!!

So for the last 3 days my morning routine has been to wake up and POAS (fertility forum speak for pee on a stick). Following my “breakthrough” last weekend I’ve been impatient to know what’s been going on inside my body. I called Dr A last Monday to see if we were going to try and monitor my hormones and see if looked like I was going to ovulate and have a “normal” cycle, but her response was to wait and see.

WAIT AND SEE?!?!?!

That’s all I’ve been doing for the past couple of months, and there will be plenty more of that to come once I start TTC in earnest! As you have probably guessed by now I’m no good at waitingContinue reading